Often when I look at nostolgic images from the era I grew up in, I wish to go back to it. But if I were to actually go back, would it really be what I fantasize in my head? It's unlikely. When you're young, /or at least when I was young and I know of many others who felt this way/ you are constantly dreaming about your future, and wishing you were there already. So much time I'd spend in my head, longing to escape who I was, where I was, what I could be. I held so much value on the things I had no knowledge of. What it would be like to be a teenager. What my life in college would be like. Where I could travel. Who I'd fall in love with, who would fall in love with me. Most of these things related to a romanticization of what could be and assuming anything could be better than what I was. So it's really funny to me now, When I find myself longering to go back to those ages of my past self. Maybe it's not myself that I miss but the people, and things around me. Maybe I long for the youth of those people and the youth of those places. Because seeing them older is quite sad. And those places seem so lonely. So I wish they can be filled again.

I am updating this as I sit in the airport on my journey back home for the holidays. The airport is interesting. You see so many walks of life and in many different situations. While walking thru the security line, I passed a young girl parting with what seemed to be her parents and possible brother or boyfriend. The departure was very teary-eyed, but the girl said something that stuck out to me "this will be so good for me". I wondered what it could be. Is she servicing in the Peace Corps.? Moving accross the country to chase a dream? Joining a retreat service? It really put into perspective and gave me another reminder of something I am often very curious about: we are all live very similar lives. Sure, we may not all have the exact same experiences, but we can all relate in some way or another... even if it's something as simple as stubbing a toe. I guess it made me feel comfort that in the times that I struggle I am not struggling alone. There is someone out there looking at the same sky as me wondering what's going on just as I am with them. We are just not aware of each other's existence. But how beautiful is that? Signing off, with love.